How to Master Your Budget and Stop Borrowing from Yourself

 That’s when we get in trouble because then maybe I’m going to miss a bill or I’m not, or maybe there’s a little bit more spending money.

So if I spend this all, it’d be okay. No, like you just need those hard guardrails for yourself. It doesn’t mean restrictive. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a lot of money. Okay. We’d rather you have, and you know how, like maybe one week you transferred money every day, like 25 bucks every day, we’d rather you have 200 every week or every two weeks.

And no, you have a lot more than maybe you think you need. Then you have to keep like pulling this five, 20, 10, like little bits of money over. Have more than you need. Feel that in your soul. And then if you don’t spend it all, guess what? Then you can put it in savings or put it toward debt or something like that’s a better place to be than just.

Trying to get by with these constant transfers when you can’t go to the grocery store, 20 at a time, like you can’t. So if you can transfer that money bulk every paycheck, that’s going to, like Shana said, allow you to feel like you can actually spend the money. And you won’t be as tempted to make those itty bitty transfers all the time.

So to recap what we’ve learned through, we’ve had a little bit of technical difficulty to recap. We have you, you’re Dave Ramsey ish. You’re using every dollar, but you have no problem making a budget, but sticking to the budget is like the main problem.

And you find yourself, you did do the work of setting up the bills account and setting up the spending account, which was a great first step. But you find yourself like. Borrowing from the accounts back and forth. And that’s obviously what’s breaking the budget. So one of the reasons that we see that happening is because people are not used to being the type of person who has money, right?

So they’re so used to the second the money comes in the account, they’re spending it immediately because they, that’s like the only chance they have to spend the money versus allowing the money in the bills account to build, to pay a bill and knowing that a certain amount of money is going to their spending account, each paycheck or each week, however you’re doing that.

And using that money. They’re not used to that yet. They’re not used to allowing the money to build. So that way They can be this type of person that has money now. Like it’s a new concept to them and it’s you’re not alone So many people Get they, they steal from their bills and that’s just the first like habit we have to work out like iron out.

We have to iron that out of the circulation and, first of all, you’re using every dollar. So do you have a zero based budget? Does your budget income minus everything you’re planning for equals zero? No, I have money left to budget. And then I. But it seems like on paper, it looks like I have money left.

But then I feel monthly that it’s not there. So maybe I’m spending it. I don’t. It’s crazy because I feel Yeah, so that’s the problem with every dollar is because we’re allowing ourselves to be past tense. When we do it, we need to be the reason we are our budget. The way we want you to do is plan everything.

Okay. And you’re telling the money where to go. There’s no question because if I’m putting 500 in my spending account every month, That’s all I get. And I know that I did that. There was no question about whether I did it or what I spent. Cause all I have to do is go look at my spending account to see what I spent.

And on the flip side, if you’re new at this and things do what you’re saying, they feel like they keep coming up. And I forget to, I forgot that, or I didn’t think about this coming up. And then that’s where I’m having to transfer money. We can put a buffer. And you’re in your budget and just say I expect 200 of weird stuff that I freaking didn’t even think about to come up this month.

I’m going to put it in there until I get really good because the other, the solution is to go back, Christine. Look, what have I been like, what are these little things that keep popping up that I keep stealing from my bills account to pay for? Let me find a way to, to budget those. So maybe it was, a random the termite guy came and you forgot to budget for that.

Or maybe the kid had this thing or the other. Let’s go ahead and put that in the budget. So that’s why we have the savings buckets. Do we have annual bills that we’re paying for? Do we have random quarterly dues for stuff? Let’s. Let’s pre think that because all of those unexpected expenses, quote unquote, those are the things that make us feel like our budget isn’t working and make us go out of line, and so we want to try to, even if we can’t get them all right, we want to start tracking the ones that did come so we can, they’ll help us in the future and then we can also just have that buffer in there that will help you to stick to the budget a little bit better.

And one of the things that we’ve noticed is that the every dollar app is an accounting app. Yes, it has you type your budget in, but then after that, you don’t have to stick to it, right? It’s then you’re just accounting and you’re having to track every expense. So whether it’s, you’re using the paid version that it deducts it from your bank account for you, you’re tracking your accounting now.

And then, or it’s, you’re using the free version where you have to manually go in and do that. Again, you’re tracking and accounting, not budgeting anymore. Like that part is over. And so a lot of people are struggling because that’s not what, that’s just not, it’s not telling your hands and you’re telling yourself what to do with your money ahead of time.

And it’s not allowing you to stick to a certain system. The way that we have you set up your spending accounts where you’re funding in every single paycheck or every week or however you’re doing it. And holding yourself accountable to the amount of money that’s in that account only, that is a lot easier to handle and a lot less work on your end.

If you can just do that versus having to figure out. and track all that stuff that’s happening in your bills account. The whole idea of the bills account is that you’re only keeping the amount of money in there that’s paying bills. That’s it. And there’s nothing else that you have to do to that account.

And there’s no other tracking that has to happen to that account. Does that make sense? And there’s no ambiguity. So if we have the zero base budget, but there’s a little bit extra, that’s where you’re going wrong. You think maybe there’s a little extra or maybe I’ll be able to come back around next paycheck and refund or whatever.

Never! We are going to go to zero on purpose. In fact, we’d rather you have. 300 more spending a month and have a zero based budget so that, very clearly I am not touching this bills account because I know every single one of those dollars is accounted for. And I just turned that off.

I turned that off in my brain. It’s going to pay automatically. And yeah, maybe this spending amount seems high, but I’d rather have a high spending account and really learn to live only in that spending. Until I figured that out and get good at that. And then maybe I reallocate some of those funds to saving or to, paying off debt or whatever it is.

But the first step is to get so good at sticking in the spending, sticking with it, like Vanessa said, holding yourself to that spending amount that you give yourself only, and then not messing with the bills. That’s step one. And then once we get good at that, we can get more sophisticated. And if you want to have a buffer.

Like Shannon said, either put it in your spending or move it out of your bills account, put it in savings and know that your buffer is there. The idea and the mindset, the concept that we want to now follow is if I touch my bills account, something is going to bounce. Something is going to, I’m going to have an NSF fee and that may seem scary or may see may seem unreasonable.

No, I’m sorry, but I think that’s actually the answer that some people need. And that’s the accountability that you need, because if you know that you touch it, Something’s something wrong or something bad is going to happen. If you only keep in there what you need, then you shouldn’t be worried of what’s going to be withdrawn from that account because you have literally on, on paper documented every dollar, that’s going to come out of there.

So there’s no need to keep any extra. And just just let the bills exist in an island. Like we’re not messing with it. We’re not transferring to from nothing. It’s just happening over there. And I can figure, I can just learn to budget this amount of money. Okay. So that’s that. Does that seem to make sense?

And what questions come up from there? Okay. That’s awesome, actually, because I don’t ever put the bill account out of my brain. And I think that I need a lot of things that come out automatically. There’s certain bills I do just have to pay, but not that many, mostly everything comes out automatic.

Don’t have to remember to pay the bill. And that’s also part of my problem. Sometimes I forget to pay bills, but I don’t do that all the time. Trying to have everything like that. So yes, just being able to manage the spending account will probably be a lot more manageable for me. Perfect. Yes. Okay. So that’s step one.

Let’s get that. Let’s get good and confident at that. And then from there, honestly, Christine, I know this might feel like it’s a long dream, but we have. People that get more excited about saving than spending. But this is the first step like looking at your spending and actually feeling some hope, like getting good at it.

And then you feel some hope in your budget to where you might feel right now, like it’s not even worth saving money. Cause I’m probably going to spend it or something, like you might have something going on in the back of your mind there, but. But if you get good at this and you start to see some confidence, then that somehow just magically people start to be like, I don’t want to spend all this money.

I want to save it. Or, I want to pay it off on debt. And then you start to get more excited about that than you do spending. But this, but there is like a middle ground here that we have to conquer this part first. And you have to relinquish. The control of the bills account. You have to just let it go.

Like the song, right? You literally just have to allow it to be its own thing. And then you’re worrying about everything else because the more that you’re in it, the more that you’re figuring out when bills are due and how much do you have and is this minor, can I spend this and can I put it back until the bill has come to no, like that is.

So much extra work and frustration that you’re putting on yourself. So the faster that you can just set everything up on auto pay, set everything up on a set on the separate account to do its thing. And then like Shana said, all you have to worry about is the spending and bill, the spending and the savings account.

That is where you want to be in your life. Yeah. And like you can keep using every dollar, but we really just if you just have your delineation there of what money goes here and what money goes there, you can look at your spending account and say. That’s what I spent. Like, all I have to do is look at that.

And I know how much is left and I know what I spent. And it can get more complicated. Like we do have, people have, gas and groceries, they have personal spending. Maybe they have one for the kids or restaurants or whatever. Like you can do that, first literally just separating them and getting that habit set is really important.

Yeah. And here’s the thing is if this is where you’re at, It doesn’t matter what you spend money on in that account. It just matters how much you’re spending. So when you, if you have the every dollar app, don’t worry about trying to type in I spent this much for this and this much for this. Don’t that’s not where you’re at yet.

If you get to the point where okay, I want to have a gas and groceries account, then we can decide how much you want to put in there. Then I feel like, okay, my next step is I want to have a one for just restaurants. Okay. Then we can decide how much you want to put in there. But for now you have the one account, make sure that you’re you’re buying your essentials first, you need groceries, you need gas, you need whatever you need for the kids.

If you’re using one account to do it all and then everything else is a want that you can add later. But just stay within that amount of money for now. And that’s good. That is literally the one thing that you have to worry about. Okay. And then should I have cause right now I transfer money to that account.

Should I have it directly deposited in each account, the amounts that I need? No. Okay. Then you’re requiring your HR department to do the work for you or you’re relying on them to get, yeah, to anytime you want to make a change. Now you have to wait till payday to make a change. No, we want you to do it on your end with your bank, but you can, so the, that’s where I started to like in the military, you could set up allotments and you could like, they would basically manage your money for you.

But you can still mimic that. That’s a good tool. Like the direct deposit is a good tool that they’re helping you, but you can mimic it with your own bank. Tools. You have your paycheck deposit that same day. You can have it automatically transfer the amount that you budgeted to your spending, right?

It can still do it. It can still happen automatically. You can still have the money move before you mess it up. But you don’t have to have the HR or have your work or whoever deal with it. It’s, you can deal with it in your bank. . Yeah. And then the cool thing is like the way that our budget, you can look into it, but the way that we have it set up is we want whatever your pay cycle is.

The cool thing is to set those automatic transfers up that day. Most likely. Vanessa was talking about living in that spending account, we, some people, You know, I need some money every week because that’s just my rhythm. If I get a little bit of money in there and I can mentally know I’m sticking to this budget in the spending account for a week, like this is what I have for everything, or, maybe two weeks, you don’t want to necessarily do it like a whole month at a time.

That’s a lot to try to figure out and manage and white knuckles you want it to mimic your pay cycle because that is a good rhythm that you’re already on. Okay. That sounds good.

I don’t know. I think that was my main thing was just not spending the money that I have set aside that I need to pay for bills. And, and then knowing how much I need to put in there to spend. I always feel like, okay, I’ll put a little in there to spend. I’ll put a little more in there to spend.

Okay. Rather than, I don’t know, maybe like you said, I need to do it on a cycle. But I find myself putting some in there and go, okay, maybe that’s not enough. And putting more in there. I, So you’re guessing at the amount of money that, okay. So when do you, how often do you get paid?

Is it every other week or twice a month? Weeks? Yeah. Every other week. Okay. You need to sit down and figure out how much money you spend on gas a month, how much you spend on groceries a month, how much you need for restaurants a month for your personal pocket money or family kids, I don’t know, whatever other situation you have, you need to get an actual number on how much all of that costs you, and then you need to divide it by two.

And make sure that half of the amount is going in on one paycheck and the other half is going on the other paycheck. So you have a realistic amount of money to spend. Yeah. And so the way that you were doing before there, like I said, there’s still that ambiguity and that ambiguity is where we’re like, Maybe I have more, maybe I have less, but now you will know this is my full spending budget.

There is no more, there’s no a little, another transfer. There’s no more like this is fully what I have to deal with for two weeks and I have to make it work versus when we have like when we’re allowing it to be like mysterious. That’s when we get in trouble because then maybe I’m going to miss a bill or I’m not, or maybe there’s a little bit more spending money.

So if I spend this all, it’d be okay. No, like you just need those hard guardrails for yourself. It doesn’t mean restrictive. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a lot of money. Okay. We’d rather you have, and you know how, like maybe one week you transferred money every day, like 25 bucks every day, we’d rather you have 200 every week or every two weeks.

And no, you have a lot more than maybe you think you need. Then you have to keep like pulling this five, 20, 10, like little bits of money over. Have more than you need. Feel that in your soul. And then if you don’t spend it all, guess what? Then you can put it in savings or put it toward debt or something like that’s a better place to be than just.

Trying to get by with these constant transfers when you can’t go to the grocery store, 20 at a time, like you can’t. So if you can transfer that money bulk every paycheck, that’s going to, like Shana said, allow you to feel like you can actually spend the money. And you won’t be as tempted to make those itty bitty transfers all the time.

Yeah. And when I first started, I would transfer it and then I would just go get my gas and groceries that day. And then I would know for the rest of the pay cycle, this is how much I have. To live off of, and so that, what we teach now is to have a separate spending account. So that you don’t have to play the play that math game or whatever, but even still, it’s nice for me.

It always felt like to get the groceries and gas taken care of. I know that people are going to eat. I know we can get to the places we need to get to. And now I have a little bit of fun money to, to mess around with. So exactly. Okay. Yes. And that’s where I need to have more control because like you said, it was more of a mystery to me and I don’t.

Mystery needs to be more concrete, right? Yeah. Yeah. Need tangible numbers, actual data. So go back, look, do a 90 day audit, figure out how much you spend on gas groceries and all the other things. And then you like, again, you need to transfer that half amount, one paycheck and half the other. And that’s going to be the first step.

And when you get good at that, come right back and we’ll talk about the next step. Okay. Okay. Thank you so much for coming on, Christine. It was so nice to see you in person. You look lovely. It was wonderful chat. So do you. Thank you so much for your help. I appreciate it. You’re welcome. Thank you. Have a wonderful day.

Wonderful weekend. You too. Bye.