📍 I had a bad day. I filled my cart on Ruly with $800 worth of clothing.

 Well, we do like to tell people they can be bougie on a budget, but you have to do the budget part along with the bougie part.

 I mean, it was just crazy to see that, like, how much would we normally spend

 I mean, my Amazon went from a couple things in a week.

Amazon also sent somebody to the door be like, are you.

Yeah, I mean, I went to to nothing. I mean, I looked at my list and I was like, wow, there’s nothing in this, you know, the whole month.

 it is not that you’ve been bad with money, it’s not that you don’t know what to do with your money. It’s. That you don’t have a system that works and we believe by you removing the idea of wanting to do a no spend month. By you implementing an actual system of you managing your money properly every month, it’s going to allow you to be more successful.

 All right guys. Maybe you’ve seen it. Maybe you’ve heard it. Maybe you’ve even tried it. But we are talking about going through a no spend month. No spend months. Sound good? In theory. But in real life there are a budgeting bandaid, not a real fix. It’s like a diet and it’s not a real solution.

Yeah. Some people have made it through no seven months, like really successfully. But we are here to talk with somebody who just went through it and we’re here to actually talk about first, how we feel about a no spend a month first before we introduce her. But what is a no spend month? I think that’s important to define before we get all into it, Vanessa. Yeah. So the idea here is that there is no unnecessary spending for 30 days. So you’re not, unless you are buying groceries or gas or something that’s absolutely necessary, you’re not buying it.

Yeah. And people try it because as you’ll hear with with our friend Bethany that we had on, they’re trying to. Curb, some bad spending habits, maybe trying to fix any overspending that they’re doing. They just need like a reset, right? It’s kinda if you were went on a fast, just let me reset my body real quick, or my spinning habits.

And maybe they’re start or maybe they looked at their credit card bill and they’re like, oh, something really needs to change. There’s usually some sort of moment like that, probably like panic has set in. I think probably the biggest one we hear Shana, is that reset. I just need a reset.

And I’m like, okay, but what does that mean? Yeah. But it’s fine. Yeah. And it feels productive, but it’s not actually sustainable. So when you say reset, Vanessa, what I think is use a budget to reset. That will actually be a real reset, but and I’m thinking like when you set a fast, like I’m thinking of a three day fast.

Okay. No, a no spend month for 30 days is a lot. And it takes a lot to manage that to really. Set those parameters. And we’re gonna go into, some reasons why we really don’t think that they work well. I think it’s not realistic. Like we said it’s a bandaid, right? We, that’s fine.

You can do something for a little while, but what we wanna do is actually look at the real problem, look at the root and actually fix it for long term, right? We want you to enjoy your life. Because in this no spend month and in life, you know you’re gonna have birthdays come up as Bethany talks about somebody needed shoes, we’re gonna need to go to target for this or that.

We are gonna want to eat out because it’s Mother’s Day, whatever it is. We want you to know that you can do those things in your life with your budget. Yeah. Is allowing for that and everything else is also taken care of. Yeah. And it’s not sustainable either. So you really can’t live your entire life in restriction.

Yeah. And we don’t recommend going through this ebb and flow of this month we can spend, and this month we camel. Christmas was crazy. We put it all on a credit card. Now in the month of January, we’re not spending anything like we just, we wanna take that roller coaster way of living out of the conversation and we want it to be.

Sustainable. Smooth. Smooth and steady. Consistent. Yeah. And the other thing that we don’t like about it is it leads to binge spending. When we talk, we were talking about Bethany. She was when we were talking to her earlier in the no spend month, she was like I noticed that.

We’re just like, okay, we’ll get that next month. We’ll just get that next month. And so what they were doing is, it’s like the diet and we’ll talk about, she’ll talk about that is like. I’m not gonna eat anything bad this month, but then as soon as I go off of it, I’m gonna go eat all the chocolate.

That’s what people do is they save up all the spinning for the month after and that didn’t solve anything. That actually was not, was counterproductive. So also it hides the real issue here. Because you, the idea of what you’re trying to fix is the overspending and it is not going away. You’re just prolonging it.

Okay. So you’re not spending now, but usually when people get off of this, like Shana talked about with the diet, they’re about to go binge spend or now they’re gonna go. Put click buy on their Amazon cart. That’s they’ve been adding to for 30 days. Yeah. Yeah. And because it doesn’t teach you anything No.

What we, what you’re not learning to be like sticking in a have a healthy spending habit. You’re just learning not to white knuckle it through a certain amount of time until you can go back to whatever you were wanting to do. Or maybe you’ll go back you’ll go down a little bit, but each month you’ll probably go get back up to where you were before.

It’s not teaching you how to manage your money, how to live your life and spend money. And hit your goals. That’s what, it’s not doing that. No. And we don’t wanna teach you to press pause on your spending. We’re wanting you to plan for it. Plan in the moment for it. All right. So what are we gonna do instead, Shana?

Yeah. So we’re gonna have, I know you’re gonna be shocked. We would love you to have a budget, and as our budget system, you’re gonna have your income, your debt, your bills. And then you’re gonna have a whole spending column. We’re also gonna have savings. But we’re gonna plan your spending on purpose.

What this does is it allows you to know that you have spending money, hooray. But it gives you a decent amount or budget amount so that you can also hit your other goals. We want both for you. Yeah. And how are you gonna do this? You’re gonna separate your spending from your bill, so in order for you to.

Physically see and visually see how much money you have to spend and to save and for your bills, you’re gonna separate all those. So you’re gonna have two separate, at least two separate checking accounts. One for all your bills and one for your spending. And what we would really love for you to have is have a spending account for gas and groceries.

Yep. A spending account for you, a spending account for your husband or your spouse or whoever. And then also hopefully a spending account for your kids. All those kids all. Yeah. We love them. She’s got a lot. We’re gonna talk to Bethany. She has a lot, but. We want and we want all of them to be separate.

So you can see the amounts that you have for everything. You can very clearly see it. And Vanessa said, you can also see over there the bills are being taken care of. And you know what else we want you to do? We want you to set that all up automatically. See what you did there.

See what I did there because we want you to. The stress of, if I can I, how much, or even like I have to go in and do some math. Right now we want it to be automatic so that when you wake up you’re like, oh, it’s Friday. I got my $200 spending budget again. Woo-hoo party. Yeah. And what is that focus on?

It focuses on you being consistent. So it allows you to do the same thing every single month. So we. If you heard us talk about budgets and systems before, we want you to plan the exact same stuff that you’re doing every single month. So that way, it’s always, you’re always gonna get the same amount of money for gas and groceries and spending all the time.

Obviously, there’s gonna be the things that pop up throughout the month, like Mother’s Day. Or I budgeted a lot of plants this month for my clients for spring. But those are also planned. Eventually we’re gonna have those in the budget at when you first make your budget.

Maybe not, and that’s okay. But you will eventually make a consistent budget. Yeah. And we just want it to be smooth and steady and automatic. That’s the goal here. And it can be, you can have that for your budget. The other thing that we want you to do is learn there. The urge to do a no spend month is good.

We think that, like what it, that’s a good idea. In theory, it’s just not solving the right problem. And I think the urge is what, there’s something sparking the need. There’s something that, that you’re like, okay I need to do this for some reason, but we want you to actually get into the real root of it.

And we, yeah. And we want you to solve for the problem, as you’ll hear when we talk to Bethany. Let’s create a clothing budget so that you can spend, but you’re, it’s not as crazy as maybe it has been, or let’s create let’s do one Starbucks gift card for you and her husband to share a month.

And so that you guys can still have it, you can still love it, but you don’t have to spend, you’re not spending as much as you were that way you can save for vacation. Like she’s talking about that’s where we want. Let’s get to the root of what’s really the problem and how can we solve it in a long-term, sustainable way.

That’s with your budget. And it is not that you’ve been bad with money, it’s not that you don’t know what to do with your money. It’s. That you don’t have a system that works and we believe by you removing the idea of wanting to do a no spend month. By you implementing an actual system of you managing your money properly every month, it’s going to allow you to be more successful.

Yeah. And so you don’t need a no spend month challenge. You just need a budget system. We’re we, we know where you can find one. It’s called budget besties.com/budget. What. It’s brand new. It’s brand new information. We hear that people love it. Yeah. So we want you to use that. But now we’re gonna go into this little interview we did with our friend Bethany.

And she’s gonna tell us her experience about a no spend month, and we’re just gonna have a conversation about it.

 Bethany, thank you so much for coming on our podcast to talk about your no spend month. Yeah. We’re excited to have you. 

Thank you for having me. I am really excited. It has been a journey for sure. 

She said, I have lots to talk about. Okay. So our listeners, for you guys to know all of our sons played baseball and basketball together, so that’s how we know Bethany and I was sitting over there at the concessions, or no, the entrance, whatever.

And you walked by coming into a baseball game telling me about you or no spend month. And I was like, so interesting. ’cause I wanna do a podcast on why not to do a no spend month. Let’s have you on the, on the podcast and talk about it. ’cause you just did one. You just wrapped it up. So you did it in April, right?

Mm-hmm. 

Yep. All of April. 

So tell us what inspired you guys to do a no spend month in the first place? 

the biggest thing is I felt like certain spending areas were out of control. Like I told both of you, I think we are coffee addicts. I mean, we don’t go to a coffee shop in a day, it’s shocking between my husband or I. 

For coffee shops like profit margins plummet, 

I’m sure actually I’ve warned local coffee shops that I wouldn’t be there all month. So it, 

so they’re not like in your dms checking up on you to make sure you’re okay. 

what happened? Yeah. So that was probably the biggest thing. And then I am a huge online clothes shopper so that, you know, it’s so easy from wherever you are, especially now that Elias drives and I get to ride in the passenger seat to be sitting there spending money. 

Oh no, that’s next level. 

the, you know, the biggest, like, something has got to just readjust and like I told Shayna, I, I felt like we just needed to know we could go to town and not get a coffee and be fine, you know? And so that was the big reset for my husband and I specifically, and of course for our kids. I mean, they’re like. you said, we go to baseball and basketball games and they’re like, oh, are we going to Chick-fil-A? Are we picking up supper? You know, what’s the plan? And it’s like, well, I, you know, you, you do it, you stop and you get a meal.

’cause it’s quick and it’s easy. Right. And 

Mm-hmm. 

the mindset and like we packed supper, or we would come home and eat and it was, just a shift for our whole family. So

That was that. It’s 

interesting. Interesting. 

thing, so

 hey guys. In case we haven’t met yet, I’m Shana.

And I’m Vanessa. We’re the budget besties. We’re best friends and master financial coaches and we love talking about the B word. We help women who make good money but have nothing to show for it. Finally, set up a budget system that fits their bougie lifestyle. If you’re liking this so far, hit the subscribe button and stick around.

Your budget is about to get a major glow up. 

Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. Interesting, interesting. Have some ideas, have some thoughts, but I’m just gonna keep rolling here with the questions so we can really get the full scope, like full idea of what, of how this went. So what rules did you guys set? Like how did you de define, I know, spend month, and what rules did you set for yourself? 

as you know, a family, you can’t just say, we’re not buying anything the rest of the month, we’re gonna live out of our You know, it doesn’t, we would last maybe a week and then we would be out of food. So, you know, 

Well, just for context really quick, tell ’em how big your family is. 

have four children you know, my husband and I, so we, you know, and two teenage boys, so we go through a lot of food. 

That are, that are very busy, active working or being active, working and playing sports. Yeah. They’re like an old, they’re old army to feed. Yeah. 

With homeschooling too, which I know is so stereotypical, you know, there’s breakfast and then there’s snack, and then there’s lunch and there’s snack. So, 

Yeah. There’s always eating. 

are, I, you know, they’re used to having food available, so groceries was not a thing, but even like my husband put the parameter that there’s groceries and then there’s.

Sushi from the grocery store and he was like, well, 

Hmm. 

limits because that isn’t something you would normally get. Right? That’s like an 

Yeah. 

And so, you know, any just regular meals, snacks, all of that was totally fine. But even in stores, like not one to actually go in stores. I mostly do grocery pickup, but you know, not your extra little, put something in the cart that you wouldn’t normally get.

We really stuck to, you know, our meal plan. That we had for the week basically. So yeah, just any extra spending. My husband two days in went to Flight Factory, which is a disc golf store in Pensacola, and he bought four discs and I called him and I was like, what is this in the bank account? I see you bought four discs.

And he was like, oh, I didn’t even think about it. He said, I know it’s no spend month. He is like, I didn’t buy coffee. I didn’t buy, you know, because to him it was like didn’t fall in the same category. 

Didn’t register. Yeah. 

he totally was like, yeah, you’re right. That, you know, that was a goof on my part. But like for me, you know, I had at least two times where I went with people to a store my sister-in-law asked me to help pick out Easter outfits, and I was like, I am going here to help her. I am not buying anything and just shifting your mindset. You know, you walk into a, a store like Target and you’re like, oh, I need these items. And it’s like, no. And my kids even, mom, can we get, oh yeah, nevermind. It’s, you know, it’s no spend month. We don’t need whatever it was, you know, so that the, the main parameter was just, you know, we, we obviously have to live.

We still bought deodorant, we still bought groceries, we bought the necessities, but, you know, no eating out. No coffee no clothes shopping for me, for anyone. And you know, for my husband, no discs after those first few days where he flubbed and he bought, bought four, so, but  

That. No, I love that. I think that that is interesting how, you know, you just go about your normal day and like, like he did, he just went to the store and bought the thing and then was like, didn’t even think or it registered that you were in a no spend month and, or that that counted. Right. You just didn’t really, didn’t cross his mind.

Were there moments where y’all felt restricted or tempted to cheat or just

Wanted to splurge? 

I mean there definitely were times, you know, after a, actual long day and you’re driving past, you know, our favorite coffee shop and it would be, you know, my husband would kind of look at me like, Hey. And it was like, Hey, when we get home we’ll make you a coffee. And it was just kind of a, you know, keeping each other accountable.

’cause we both 

Yeah. 

kv when it comes to that. I mean, I’d rather get a coffee than eat out. But even like for baseball games, you know, there was times where our kids were like, well. Does this really count? Because we have to go to this baseball game and it’s an hour away. You know, it would be okay, right, mom to to eat out.

And it was like, no, you know, they saw us take a stand, so I felt like we needed to be accountable, you know, and say no. We set the parameter. I mean, I don’t know how often most families eat out, but it’s a big deal to not eat out at least once in a week. You know, just because you’re busy and whatever, you know.

Or on Sundays after church will. You know, have lunch or whatever. And so you know, the, there were definitely moments and, and people asking us like, do you wanna go here? And it was like, no, actually we’re, we’re not spending money right now. You can come to our house or we can, you know, we can like go do something with you, but it has to be something that doesn’t cost money.

I mean. and that, you know, that was tricky. Like my in-laws had a really hard time. ’cause every time they asked us, it was like, remember we’re not spending money this month. you know, they’re like, does it really count if it’s just supper? I’m like, yeah, it still counts, you know? 

Peer pressure family. 

Family pressure for sure.

So, 

What did they think? What did they

Did? They, obviously, they love you and they’re so sweet, but did they judge? Were they, did, did you feel pressure? Did you feel a little like, did they, they were like, why are you even doing this or anything like that? 

a little bit. I mean, I think it’s fairly obvious. I spend a lot on clothes and my in-laws do not 

But your kids always look so, oh, they’re adorable. Adorable. I am always in awe, all of them. They all look so cute. So put together like a mom that really, truly cares for them. 

I mean, it’s a hobby. I enjoy it. And so it’s hard to just be like, okay, I’m not gonna do that. But my, you know, my kids, I hear people say things like, well, my kids only have three pairs of shoes. And I’m like, oh, my kids only have 20 pairs of shoes. You know, it’s, it’s like less is. It is Okay. You know?

And so just to kind of put a damper on that, you see something and you’re like, automatically buy it and just change your mindset. So our family was supportive. I had biggest benefit is my sister-in-law who has seven children said, soon as she heard me talk about it, you know, ’cause a couple days ahead of time we were kind of prepping like, this is the last time we’re eating out.

This is the last time we’re doing whatever. And she was like, we’re gonna do it with you guys. And so that was totally of their own accord. I didn’t like talk her into it. And also because she’s my husband’s secretary, she actually put our company on a no spend month. 

What? Love that. 

it was kind of, you know, it made it easy because. You know, they weren’t asking us, Hey, can you go do this? And then for my husband ’cause this is what she said would happen, which totally would’ve, he would’ve not bought comp a coffee with our money. But if he, he would’ve just put it on the company card. And so this way he was very held accountable. And the company had its own rules. They still allowed coffee on Friday ’cause that’s their thing. And they eat out on Friday. The whole, you know, all the workers do so, but. It was really helpful ’cause we were going to baseball games together. You know, we go to church together and it was like, she wasn’t saying, oh, we’re going to eat out.

She was like, yeah, do you wanna come over? ’cause we’re having tacos at home. You know, it was like kind of a support for both of us to be held accountable. So that was, that was really helpful. 

It’s coming at you guys from all angles, but I love that. I think that’s so good. I mean, why not? If y’all are entrepreneurs? Like, why would you not implement that all the way around? I was thinking like, y’all, the boys were covered 360 degrees, 360 degrees while they’re at work. I I wanna go back to what you said when your in-laws, or I think that’s what you said, it was your in-law, in-laws and body job to eat, and you said, no, were not.

And some people would say, no, we can’t. And I, I love how you’re framing that ’cause you’re not putting like. You’re not making an excuse for it or you’re not making it sound negative like you literally said, no, this is just not what we’re doing right now. And I just love how you changed that verbiage.

’cause I, you know, we always talk about. You know, with your kids or people that are watching you do this, it’s all about, and how you talk about it and it’s how and how you represent it. And I think that you, you did that in a very positive way for your kids to you, you’re example that for your kids. So I just, I wanted to honor you for that.

I thought that was really cool. So Bethany, tell us what you guys learned. Like you were, you made it through, you’re in the next month, you did it, you did a whole month. What did you guys learn? 

I mean, we definitely learned to curve some habits. You know, just the, the quick run through a drive through is so easy, especially with kids and, I mean, there’s not one of my kids who would say. No, let’s eat at home. Although I do have a Dave Ramsey child who’s always like, can we afford that mom? But for the most part, even he could be convinced you know, let’s stop and get tacos or whatever.

And  

What tacos, it’s always, tacos are cheap. 

my 

Are. 

kid. But you know, tacos at home you can make for one meal and spread it to a second meal and it literally costs you hardly anything. But, I would say, you know, just coming off, you know, Shayna’s, one warning to me was that it’s like dieting where, you know, you withhold, you withhold, you withhold, and then when the parameter’s gone, okay, you know, like whole 30, everyone knows Whole 30 and it’s. You know, similar concept you’re gonna do 30 days and you’re gonna commit to it, and when you’re done, there’s people who go out and the first thing they’re like, I am going to eat the worst food that I could possibly eat. 

Everything. I’m gonna eat everything. 

is terrible. You know, I’m super actually against dieting because of that reason.

But you know, changing your mindset completely that, you know, like I’ve been to town every day this week and I didn’t stop every time and get coffee, you know, and like even for our kids, like. They are really, you know, bad about saying, Hey, can we stop and get whatever, you know, Hey, can we get ice cream on the way home?

Or whatever. And, and even you know, being creative about how you do get money to spend extra, like I told Shayna, ’cause when I walked up to that entry at the baseball game, I was holding Starbucks and I was like, but this doesn’t count because I had a free $50 gift card. And we stayed within that parameter.

I told my husband, we’re stretching this gift card, so we, you know, we majorly 

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

kind of felt, that nursing, that $50 throughout the month that well we could get a coffee this week, but then that would be it for the rest of the month.

Let’s wait till next week. You know, and just giving ourselves boundaries, you know? And I. I know for me, like it caused me to look inside my closet instead of going and buying just a new dress for, you know, any occasion. And I was like, Hey, you know, I have some cute stuff in here. Like I should wear this dress I bought last year and I’ve only worn one time. Actually, this dress I’m currently wearing one time 

So cute. 

and. And it’s just crazy how it’s so easy, you know, with online shopping and pickup and all these different things. It’s so easy. Just, mean, my husband commented, so part of what, why we wanted to do this, which I probably said should’ve said in the beginning was we’ve been really wanting a new espresso machine.

Ours had broken, and the one we wanted though was like $600. And so we were like. We don’t have the money for this. And so, you know, that was kind of what inspired I was like, I would, you know, it seems simple, $600. I mean we only do have one income coming in, but $600 isn’t outside, you know, our parameters of being able to save.

And I was like, you know, if we really stuck to this, we could get that, that machine that we wanted. And you know, just. Just saying that is the goal, you know, that that was really helpful at times where it was like, oh well I could buy whatever. And so even, you know, my husband and I, we had gone to lunch on Sunday ’cause we only had one kid that we ended up with coming home with us. And so he was like, let’s get sushi. ’cause it’s the first time we’ve been able to, you know, go out and, as we sat there, he ordered the coffee machine that we were wanting and he was like, since we’ve been sitting here, we ate lunch and had sushi, which we know is expensive. And we bought a coffee machine.

He was like, this lunch costs us $600 there. You know, it’s not like in times past where you had to go to a store and pick out your items and put ’em in your cart, you know, and it’s one click. It’ll be here in two days, you know? So you know, kind of just changing that concept. I mean, my Amazon went from a couple things in a week. 

Amazon also sent somebody to the door be like, are you. 

Yeah, I mean, I went to to nothing. I mean, I looked at my list and I was like, wow, there’s nothing in this, you know, the whole month. I mean, it was just crazy to see that, like, how much would we normally spend on just, you just, you know, oh, just real quick. Order it right now so I don’t forget, and, you know, but it’s, it’s just money gone that quickly. 

All that frivolous spending adds up. And for you guys, you were able to save it up and not spend it and not go like, where? Where did I spend it? Oh, I spent $600 on coffee this month. Really? But it went to an actual coffee machine that’s going to save you probably hundreds and hundreds, thousands of dollars of your time.

Right. And so you can see the fruit of all that. So what, what are you doing differently? Like, I know you said there’s some things, like your mindset shifted, but how? How are you planning your money differently now than what you did before? Did it shift? I know, like I said, I know you said your mindset and some things change, but are you actually managing your money any differently? 

well I have been listening to your podcast, so that is super helpful. You know, I listen to different things about parenting and homeschooling and I told my husband, I was like, it is so inspiring to just hear about a budget. I mean, we are very set in our bills and our different things, but even just kind of having a shift for our kids mostly of. actually Shayna is the one who inspired me to kind of give them a set amount month. You know, you have whatever it is, $30 because like our kids are getting older where they go out and whatnot and it’s so easy for them to say, Hey mom, can I have 20 bucks for, you know, get grabbing lunch after we play basketball or whatever. And just. Yeah, it’s, I mean, yeah, my son at 15 now has said, man, it costs a lot of money to live. And I’m like, yes, it does. You know, but he, you know, giving him, Hey, you got 30 bucks for the month. I don’t care how you spend it. You can save it for your car that you’re trying to save for. Or you can spend it on, you know, the Gatorade, you pick up the, from the gas station or whatever, but kind of giving them a budget instead of it just being. Here you go. You know, and even like I told my daughter who’s 10, she goes out sometimes with her friends and she wants to get a coffee or whatever. And so I’ve been having her, I’ve been having her work for her money, you know, and like last week she cleaned bathrooms and I was like, you got $10 now that you can spend, you know, don’t tell my kids that’s a low wage, that’s a perfect wage. But, you know, just kind of shifting the, what, what do we need and what do we actually to spend, you know, we have to pay for our house, we have to pay for our gas, things like that, that automatically, you know, you can’t take away, you know, we can’t, we’re not gonna go live in a tent or things like that.

But, you know, just to kind of, what do we really need to spend? And actually, one of the things that my husband and I both have said is. Which I know you guys are com totally. For this is not using a credit card because although it sounds really good, you know, you get free points and especially ’cause I like to shop.

Oh, you get points back. But when you do that, I go to my account and I’m like, oh, I still have $3,000 in there. But then, wait, I put a thousand dollars on this credit card and it’s just sitting there, you know? And so when we weren’t spending on our credit card, our bank account actually reflected how much money we actually had and not, you know, it was all just being pushed to another card where it didn’t look 

It wasn’t a false positive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, and so that’s generally, you know, we’re gonna, we’re gonna do a little explainer part for this, for this, but generally. Why we’re against this no spend month. We want you to spend on purpose and know what you’re spending. Mm-hmm. And, you know, you guys have the espresso machine, but it’s gonna be a car for, for, you know, for your son.

It’s gonna be a wedding. Like, there’s gonna be things that you wanna save up for. And if you’re just spending, like you said, it’s, it’s because you can, it’s not because you need to. Right. It’s not, and it’s also not, it’s available. It’s not that you don’t want to, but if we can set. Like, put some money in a Starbucks gift card every month on purpose.

You know, put some money in your husband’s spending account, put some money in your spending account, and then save the rest for things that matter. I think that’s what we want. We want, we don’t wanna white knuckle or or diet it through one month with no spending. We want to, to do it all on purpose and, and make our money go where it’s.

Supposed to. And I also, Bethany, I personally think you need to have your own little account for the clothes. So the clothes. So we do think, you know, we clothing, but clothing savings bucket is something we teach. But since you sell, you resell, like that would just be like, I would gamify it if I were you.

Whatever I sell, that’s what I get to spend And like. And just keep that going because clothing, children is not cheap. Especially as they grow. And you know, especially if you want them to look cute, like they, yours always do but you know, you can plan for it. Mm-hmm. Instead of, you know, splurging one month, nothing the next month.

Like that is a roller coaster. We don’t want for anybody. We want it to be steady. Well, and like, yeah. Consistency, right? So we want you to build a consistent budget and go, okay, I always have this much for me, I always have this much for the kids. My husband always has. And like she said, then you can, you can watch your bank account also grow at the same time.

And that’s been the beauty of the, the system that we have in place. But I think your business, I’m gonna call it a business. Yeah. Because it is, you’re buying clothes and you’re selling them, you’re reselling them. Keeping that in the positive and giving yourself a budget. So you always know that you have money for clothes.

Right. And then it’s always gonna get replenished. Yeah. I think that’s the key is like we’ve heard people talk about, I know every Thursday money is getting deposited in my account and I never feel, I never feel deprived because I know it’s always gonna come back. Right? Mm-hmm. And then. 

guys are big proponents of automatic, and I know for me when something comes out automatically or you put money automatically into savings, it is so helpful. I mean, I do that with two accounts where automatically comes out and like one account I’m trying to save for, a flight.

We’re trying to go visit some family in Wisconsin later this summer, and when it automatically comes out, and I look at that account and I’m like, wow, I didn’t do anything. It didn’t feel like I was deprived of that money because on Monday when our check goes in, it automatically just left and I never saw it, you know, and it, so I definitely agree with what you said. It is a crutch. The, the, you know, you get emotional and I go to buy something. I mean, it’s automatic. I told my husband, you know, I’ll have a, have a bad day. And I’m like, it’s so bad. The shift of, okay, I had a bad day. I filled my cart on Ruly with $800 worth of clothing. I didn’t buy it. You know, and I’m like, that’s. You know, but you, like you said, being more intentional with how you spend. And like you said, I do resell, but still there’s a point where not just making the quick purchase. You know, obviously there’s things. Now the one thing I did buy for clothes the whole month, my daughter had to have a pair of shoes for the choir she was in, and it was like one of those things.

And I told my husband, I said. am I supposed to do? I have to buy these $15 pair of shoes. She has to have them for this week, you know? And he was like, you know, it’s not like you’re buying this out of a frivolous, you know, spending or, you know, she doesn’t need these. And he was like, I think, you know, it’s fine to make that purchase, you know, because it was something that she actually had to have, you know.

But being 

Yeah. 

I mean, it’s so, easy. 

Well, and that, that is what when we talk about our kids’ budget, that’s why the kids’ budget is there, there there are, but we’re gonna put money aside on purpose. Right. And then we know that it’s there and it doesn’t have to surprise us in the regular budget and we can still save things. What you’re talking about with automatic transfer, my my clients call it a automatically love that automatic, like it automatically goes.

And, and if you have. Several savings buckets that, you know, all the different things. Not just the trip to Wisconsin, but clothing, but you know, kids’ sports. Mm-hmm. ’cause those are not cheap. All of that kind of stuff. And you just see it going over there. It does actually eventually make it feel less like, oh, I don’t get to spend money, because you see how much you’re saving.

Right. We see people go from from one to the other all the time. And when you get to that point, you wanna open multiple savings accounts and rename them. That’s the fun part. Yeah. Because we always say when you’re pulling from an account that says Elias’s car or whatever, right? Like you’re not, or, or when you need money and you see that there, you’re not, you’re less likely to pull from it because it has a specific name and it has a job already.

So it just kind of holds you accountable. But it’s also really fun. Like I have. Way too many accounts, but I, I love it. My why wouldn’t change it for the world because I can pull up my bank account and it’s very specific as to what it’s for. And there’s no question as to if I have money for a certain thing, right?

Yeah. 

Yeah. 

Yep. And then I just wanna make one quick point where I’m, I’m circling back, but I just wanna remember it ’cause I, I wanna say it ’cause I wrote it down. I feel really good about that. Okay. I didn’t forget it. And it’s about Vanessa’s son. So she made this really good point, and her son and my daughter, two peas in the pot, she told him, Hey you have expensive tastes, so you better get yourself a career that matches your expensive taste.

And I’m like that. I tell my daughter, you either better get a career or find a man. It loves you enough to pay for all the things that you see. He has to be that man. You have to be that man, dude. But anyway, what I was thinking about with your kids is because, you know, and, and this is a blessing, we are all blessed.

You know, praise God. We, we we’re not struggling with money, so our kids are not seeing that. But what they do see maybe is a lifestyle that they’re not gonna be able to necessarily live right away. And if we don’t, and what you’re doing by giving them this allowance, making them earn some money and then seeing the feeling of spending it, it gives them like that.

So they go to the next stage in life and they’re not expecting to be where mom and dad are, where they can. Maybe they’re not going to anymore, but they can go get coffee every day if they want. They can go out to eat every day after every game. They, they’re gonna have a, a moment in their life where that’s not gonna be possible necessarily.

They’re gonna be in college, they’re gonna be on a budget, they’re gonna be, and they need to have some experience of that, which is what you’re doing by giving them this like little budgets and amounts to, to manage well, and we always wanna level up our kids, right? Yeah. So it’s like we look back and hope that we did better than our parents, and that we want our kids to do better than us.

And so. Showing them this lifestyle mm-hmm. Is wonderful. I’m so glad that my kids are in the school that they’re in and you know, you guys are raising them the way that you’re at home, in the farm, in the, the business. Like, it’s so important for them to see all that and that hard work. But it comes with a price.

Like they have to, if they want this type of lifestyle that we provided for them, they have to go out and earn it as well, and it just calls ’em to a higher standard. Mm-hmm. 

it definitely, I mean, definitely modeling for our kids, you know, because of course we go get coffee or, you know, my husband and I like to go on a date. We try to go once a week. It doesn’t always happen, but you know, they’re like, you know, well, how come we can’t always go? How come we can’t always get coffee?

And it’s like, you know, it’s not that you don’t want for your kids, but it’s, you know, it’s like they don’t need to think that’s just gonna fall into their lap, you know? 

Right, right. 

And I know, like when my husband and I first got married almost 17 years ago, you know, we would look at our parents and our parents had nice houses and nice cars and it was like, okay, how are we gonna afford a couch for our house?

You know? And I remember a friend’s parent telling me, you can’t look at what we’ve built, you are going to have to work to get here. You know, and I mean, even when we built the house we’re in now when we first moved here, you know, it’s a lot of expense that goes into moving. And we built ourselves and you know, to afford furniture and all those things.

And it was like, you know, it’s, it’s okay if a room isn’t the way you want it to start, instead of going and buying a couch and putting it on a credit card. Save up for that and you know, it’s so much more satisfying and even, like you said, seeing your accounts grow. I know for me even though I said I’m against dieting, I’m actually for life changing, I had lost like 75 pounds between 2022 and 2024 and, changing. How I ate. I, I always love the thought of feeling better and looking better is better than any food you could possibly eat no matter what it is. And that’s how I feel like with spending, transferring that same idea, seeing your accounts grow and feeling the pressure. Of not owing money and not feeling weighed down by credit card debt and and stuff.

You know, we get so caught up in stuff is better than any coffee, better than any new dress. You’re going to feel better. You know, seeing, oh, well I have a hundred dollars in my account for spending on clothing, you know, this month, or whatever it is. And, and it’s okay. I don’t feel guilty for spending it. I don’t feel like there’s pressure of, oh my goodness, I got $3,000 still on my, that credit card and I need it gone.

You know? 

Yeah. 

I, I feel like in the same way, you know, limiting yourself now. gonna feel better later, you know, 

Yeah. 

it is a little bit hard, you know? But unlike dieting, I think just like budgeting, life changing how you think, how you spend, you know, and like you said, if you have expensive taste, you’re gonna have to work hard to get, you know, I, I’m always telling my son that you’re gonna have work hard.

He just spent $140 on cologne. And I was like, well, that’s. 

Oh, oh, that my should be friends. Oh my. I love, well, yes. 

frivolous, but I’m like, you know, you’ll learn. ’cause then the next time you wanted to go do something, I was like, remember your bank account has $2 in it right now. So keep that in mind with whatever you’re planning to do. You know? 

Yep. Yep. Well, we do like to tell people they can be bougie on a budget, but you have to do the budget part along with the bougie part. Mm-hmm. So but I think the way, like a two for one. Yeah. I think the way that you landed that plane is, is really good. I do too. It was really, really good. We’ll have to go back and listen to that.

I think it was perfect. It was life lessons for us, for sure. Yeah. So thank you Bethany, for coming on and sharing your story about No Spend month. Even though we’re, you know, technically against it, I think you gave a lot of good value. Good. Yeah. You provide a lot of value for our listeners and and you know, it’s gonna be, it’s good for your family.

It sounds like you guys are all like, leveling up now. So changing the game just like you did with with your, with your, apparently, with the way you were eating and feeling good about yourself. So, love it. Thank you so much. Thank you Bethany.

 Thank you.